


Illogical

by Thuri



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Thomas Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Thomas Sanders, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, analogical - Freeform, royality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 18:43:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12195525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thuri/pseuds/Thuri
Summary: Did someone say Logan angst?Character introspection, in which Logan tries to work through his feelings. Or at least, on specific feeling.





	Illogical

Jealousy is illogical.

Logan knows this. He knows many--if not all--emotions are. Yes, they serve a purpose, and perhaps when humans were less highly evolved they provided stronger persuasion than logic. He can admit that, if only to himself.

But jealousy is not even among those once _useful_ emotions. Envy, resentment, the desire for that which one could not have...illogical. Better to accept the situation as it is and move on.

He knows this. He’s reasoned it out, more than once. He’s reminded himself of it, time and again.

Jealousy is illogical.

And yet...what other word is there, for the twisting agony that climbs inside him, digging sharp, grasping claws into his throat, making bile rise up within it? What other word could describe the gnawing inside him, the mixed rush of hot anger and sick shame?

What else could it be that he feels, when Thomas pulls a laughing Virgil into his arms and holds him close?

It sickens Logan, every time. He doesn’t want to envy of either of them, much less both. They’re happy together, they manage to somehow complement each other. Virgil’s anxiety has improved, and by extension Thomas’s as well. It shouldn’t be possible for Thomas to be so satisfied with romancing an aspect of his own personality, but somehow...somehow he is.

Jealousy is illogical.

Yet Logan feels it deeply. Every time they kiss, every time Virgil blushes at the mention of Thomas’s name, every time Thomas throws Virgil a special smile. Every shared, private moment he witnesses between them. Moments he desperately wishes he could somehow avoid, but that fill Thomas’s mind so thoroughly they bleed over into all parts of the mindscape.

He should be happy for them, if he was going to feel anything about their relationship. He should be glad. He should be grateful for the peace within the commons, for the time he has to himself. He’s complained often enough that he’s not given enough quiet time to read...now with Virgil and Thomas in each other’s company, he has all he could want.

Instead, a single thought torments him, again and again. If Virgil was going to trust someone with his heart, if Thomas was going to fall for a Side...why couldn’t it have been _him_?

Jealousy is illogical.

But it eats at Logan’s heart, breaks it into small pieces. He doesn’t know which of them he envies more...just that either way he’s lost before he had a chance to try. Neither of them chose him. But when had he given either reason to know they could?

And he wouldn’t take them away from each other, not when each does so much for the other, not when they’re both so _happy_. He wants that for them, more than he wants anything for himself, but still he fights against the emotion he can’t seem to control, no matter how desperately he tries to reason it away.

For jealousy may be illogical.

But Logic is jealous.


End file.
